While these losses cannot dictate my life-- and they do not-- I can no longer pretend that they do not affect me. They do. Immeasurably so, although it is difficult to admit, even to my Husband. I can no longer bury them and hope that, like a small child in the game of hide-and-seek, if I don't see them, they won't see me. It is time to re-group and re-focus my energy into the things God has placed as priorities in my life. I also need to stop being so fiercely independent. I need to learn how to allow myself to be loved and comforted by my Husband. I need to learn how to heal.
I am not quite certain how long this hiatus will last... perhaps just a couple of weeks, perhaps a month, perhaps longer. The blog will be staying up, and comments will be moderated, but nothing new will be posted in the meanwhile.
Please keep me in your prayers. As always, you will be in mine.
With love,
Traditional Wife
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Please do not worry that I am "giving up." While it is true that I did, for a time, question the merits of CDD in my life, the truth is that I simply cannot live with out it. To forsake CDD would be to tear at the very essence of my being.
Someone once proposed to me that I merely liked the "idea" of obedience and submission rather than the reality of it. After careful consideration of this censure, I have come to realise that this is simply not true. What I appreciate about CDD--what made me strive after it in the first place-- is that it grants me a solid, teleological purpose in life: I am bound to obey, submit to, and be subject to my Husband in all things. I must be at his service, as it behooves of true Christian charity. (My Husband actually serves me, too, just in a leadership capacity.) I must speak respectfully to him. As for the rest, my Husband merely asks that I be his stay-at-home wife, that I finish my university degree, and that I comport myself in a feminine manner with modest dress. When I err, my Husband has the right to lovingly correct me. These things are not cumbersome in the least! They are the delights of my heart! While there may be, from time to time, bumps and ruts along the way, the key word here is "doing." It is not the "idea" of CDD that I love, but the actual practice of living it out.
Therefore, have no fear that I may soon become the "un-traditional wife." ;-) That is simply not an option.
Just give me a little time to heal...