I cannot say I was particularly fond of light today. ;-) This morning began with severe light-sensitivity borne from a left-eye infection. I tend to procure these every so often, and they are never very much fun to endure.
The first several hours of my ordeal were spent with a make-shift blindfold made from a black camisole undershirt-- the only thing I could quickly grab with tears streaming down my face-- with which to keep out the sun's stabbing rays. Medication and a little more rest helped. Eventually, I was able to pull the window blinds down and close them, throw on a pair of dark sunglasses and managed to be somewhat productive around the house. I imagine I looked something like a bat rooting around in its cave. I even dared to put in my contacts, for I am indeed as blind as a bat without them. Later on-- with the lowest backlighting option on my netbook-- I was able to check my e-mail, do some social networking, and work on my university coursework. I felt tremendously blessed by this. The last eye infection had rendered me completely immobile (see the post "My Day as a Blind Woman").
Nor was I alone during my plight. My new, faithful little friend was constantly by my side. Yes, I have a pet, and it is not Ralph. :-)
My Husband and I brought home a rescue animal over the weekend. Pepper-- our reddish orange and white cat-- is the sweetest, most adorable little guy in the whole world! He has such an amiable, lovable personality. Even my Husband, who is not a cat person, is quite taken with him. It is hard to imagine that Pepper was found abandoned on the side of the road before making his way to the shelter, and subsequently, into our home and into our hearts.
I have a thing for strays-- those most forgotten and in need of love-- and I think Pepper has picked up on this. A mere few days into his new life in our household, Pepper has become completely devoted to me. He follows me around constantly at my heels, always wants to be petted and loved on, and, at night, he curls himself up in a ball at my feet. One might think I had acquired a submissive rather than a pet. This amuses my Husband to no end. Nevertheless, it is so wonderful to have a companion during the day. I had not realised how lonely my days had become before the advent of Pepper.
Adopting Pepper has made me think about my own life. You see, I was very bit as much a stray as my newfound pet. Yet, one day my Husband found me and recognised something very special in me. He took me home, nourished me, and cared for me. My rough edges turned into a sweet softness. I finally felt free to be myself-- free to be the soul God has always intended for me to be. Now I could not imagine life being any other way. While It is true that I have "up" weeks and "down" weeks, holiness is always my goal. Even during the most rough of times, there is something deep within me that strives toward goodness. I cannot help it. I am attracted to the Light. I am God's own child, and my heart, much like St. Augustine's, is restless until it finds rest in Him.
Slowly, my life is being molded and formed. My stubbornness and resistance toward my spouse are diminishing. My terrible pride is being rooted out. This is due, in great part, to the loving consistency of my Husband. His love and his severity work hand-in-land to shape me into a very loving, obedient, submissive wife and woman. Sometimes I do wish that correction was not necessary, for although I am something of a masochist, it absolutely breaks my heart to merit punishment. I genuinely wish to obey for its own sake. Yet, whether it is a wooden spoon is being applied to my palms, a belt or other leather strap lashing my rear end or thighs, or a whip cracking across my back in the most severe of circumstances, I am grateful for its affect upon my soul and disposition. Love-- even when it is tough love-- conquers all.
And, when I am fully following God's will for my life, it is absolutely amazing! God puts people and situation into my life for a very specific and very beautiful purpose. Witnessing His Hand working through my willing life is a joy beyond measure to behold.
We who are God's children are, indeed, a collective "city on the hill." Even in moments when we do not particularly wish to be seen as such, the reality of who are are does not change. The world is watching. What will you choose to do with the life that God has given you-- be an instrument of His grace in the world or put a basket over your light?
I pray that you will choose to shine brightly. After all, only you can shine forth the unique light God intended your soul to be.