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Hiding Place

10/6/2011

8 Comments

 

"For he hath hidden me in his tabernacle... he hath protected me in the secret place of his tabernacle" (Psalm 26:5; Douay Rheims).

Hiding places have always been my secret love. When I was a little girl, I used to build forts at home and off in the woods or at the park. I would happily stay there in my little shelter, munch on plain bread, and either read or contemplate life. 

I am not so very different all of these years later. The spirit of a little girl is still very much alive and well in my soul!  I have traded woodland cottages for other favourite spots and hangouts, but the contemplative hideaway is essentially the same. A few hours curled up in a sunny spot (I must be part cat!) is at once soothing and re-charging.

Several weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to visit an order of hermit nuns. These beautiful souls are hidden away entirely from the world, deep in the woods and in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Their spirituality is very much based on silence, solitude, and contemplation. 

I was given my own little hermitage. Amazingly, this wood cottage held two levels. On the ground floor, there was the sleeping area, the kitchen, a small dining area, and a washroom. An intricately carved staircase led upward, into a private prayer room. All of this was hugged by a warm, inviting front porch and a one large chair. The view-- a large lake below steep rocks-- was breath-taking!

As lovely as this was, I began a love-hate relationship with my spiritual retreat. In the morning there was Matins, Holy Mass, and silent adoration afterward. Each evening I would make my harrowing hike back up the stone path for Vespers. In between those two "community" events, I did a lot of reading and praying. It was a beautiful experience but, surprisingly, also very lonely. Some days, I relished being the only guest hermit there during my stay. At other times, I longed for at least some form of communication with others. The friendly, furry animals outside my porch began to look like potential friends. I think I did break down and talk to one. :-)

The retreat was beautiful. God's presence was very much felt in the silence. At one point, His Spirit was so overwhelming and overpowering, I began to weep for joy. 

I also enjoyed several funny "misadventures." I once found myself to be incredibly lost in the woods during a heavy rain shower. At another time, I had just finished cleaning my little hermitage and was in a long summer dress and apron. I had planned on resting for a few moments out on my front porch but, when I shut the door behind me, I had a sudden "Uh oh" moment. The door was locked. My keys were inside. When my little nun friend saw that I had walked barefoot uphill and on small stones after having locked myself out, she laughed. I laughed along her, but it was still not an experience I wished to repeat. Eventually, I kept a window unlocked so that I could simply "break in" to my cottage. 

In the end, I was very glad to return home to my Husband, to my cat, and to technology! Silence and contemplation are an important part of my spirituality, but I was not called to be a hermit nun. :-)

These days, I have been on another sort of "retreat." This time it is within my own home. The image that comes to mind to express this beautiful reality is of a cocoon. I am finding it beneficial to work very closely with my Husband-- often over his knee-- to get out some of the deep roots of past abuse. (Ladies, as pretty as "Purpleheart" wood paddles may look, pray that your husband never is given one!) May God be pleased for this little larva to come forth, in time, as His butterfly. 

I pray that your soul too may be undergoing a sort of "cocoon" transformation. May we all rest in Him... This rest of vital change that is so necessary to emerge as the souls He wishes for us to be. 



8 Comments
Cougar
17/6/2011 22:27:18

You are loved!

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Traditional Wife
18/6/2011 16:24:26

You are loved, too!!! :-)

(An inside joke.)

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Traditional Husband
18/6/2011 22:35:22

Traditional Wife,

I always love reading about your experiences and your "misadventures." I especially like how you weave those experiences, even the most entertaining ones, with a deep reflection on on traditional marriage.

This most recent post is sweet, down-to-earth, and, at the same time, profound. Taking time for a retreat is something important for everybody. After countless days of spiritual battle, a respite is necessary to regroup.

As you say, that spiritual retreat could be anywhere - a retreat house, a monastery, or even at home. The location is not as important as the concept itself.

You blog is inspirational to all those who read it. It's not some abstract tome on traditional marriage, nor is it a mere cataloging of your day-to-day experiences. You have a unique and powerful way of weaving your experiences with a solid reflection on traditional marriage.

I pray that your blog continues to draw readers to traditional marriage or strengthen them if they are already convinced.

May Our Lord continue to bless you,

Transitional Husband









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A Catholic Mother
29/6/2011 12:36:35

Hello, Traditional Wife. I found your blog recently. Today is my ninth wedding anniversary; we have five children ages eight years to one year, attend exclusively the Tridentine Mass, our oldest began serving Mass shorty after receiving his First Holy Communion. I homeschool the three oldest (the other two are very young yet).

My first big test of submission really has been in homeschooling -- I always assumed I would homeschool as Catholic education was a non-negotiable area for us and I was homeschooled myself, but when I saw that most of our friends sent their children to the parish school, I began to think that that was the best option. My husband did not agree. So the homeschooling has been a test of obedience, and it is not easy by any means. But as he has pointed out (he is a product of Catholic grade school and an all-boys Catholic high school), having our children around others for a greater portion of their day does not usually produce good results, and he is strongly and justifiably opposed to co-education, most notably in high school -- siblings being an obvious exception. He does, however, encourage our participation in our support group and warmly endorses our children's participation in our monthly co-op and even more encouragement that I surround myself with a circle of good friends.

We do not practice a DD marriage, although having come from a single-parent household, I do believe it would be a help to me, as we have drifted apart over the years. I couldn't communicate well. I couldn't make my desires and needs known, especially when God blessed us with our lovely children so quickly, and I slipped into a profound depression. I didn't begin to climb out of it until I began to take over certain aspects of our life that I couldn't communicate to him over. While he gives me credit for a lot of good that has come out of it, the good has been merely temporal and fleeting. Underneath our closeness and togetherness has fizzled to almost nothing.

As I was so busy going to school, working and teaching, most of my difficulties didn't surface until I was married, then immediately pregnant and very debilitatingly sick until the day our son was born. This was followed by a difficult and painful birth of a premature infant, and being unable to feed him I had to bottle feed. Pressures from my mother (a well-intentioned but difficult woman) and older sister (see reference to Mother) nearly crushed me, and my husband wasn't sure just what to do about it. Being a first-time father and not having experience with children, as I had had, left him feeling quite helpless, I think.

Things spiraled from there. Although some things became better, others got worse. After these years, many things have improved tremendously, and for that I have St. Joseph to thank. But so many others are so far less than good.

I found some things you may like, on another subject, and thought you perhaps would like to look at them. I am in the midst, at this time, of sewing for myself and my daughter who's old enough to swim, some modest swimming suits. I also teach sewing to some of the young ladies at our parish. I found a very versatile swimming suit pattern at this link: www.fashionablymodestpatterns.com
and other very lovely patterns at www.modesthandmaidens.com. Sewing is one of the arts that really needs to be resurrected if we are to provide ourselves with feminine clothing, I think, and these patterns are lovely.

I look forward to reading more of your blog over time.

Sincerely,
A Catholic wife and a mother of five (so far)

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dawn
2/7/2011 06:45:35

I concur completely with Traditional Husband, you have a beautiful way with words. And your adventures and misadventures are a blessing to traditional wives young and old(me).
Thank you with blessing my life.

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A Catholic Mother
2/7/2011 11:56:39

Hello, Traditional Wife. I thought I might mention that I would caution you against recommending the book "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle, as you have in your links section. There is a section in the book regarding our obligations of physical intimacy with our husbands that are not in keeping with the Catholic moral code. I really don't want to say more as I don't beleive it is appropriate to go into detail even in an environment intended for married couples, but I returned my copy of the book to the store where I bought it because of this and warned several women from reading it.

We need to be very cautious about any marriage books written by non-Catholics, as the prevalent culture unhappily permeating through society is anti-life. Even many of our Christian brethren tacitly approve practices that are anti-life and forget the purpose of marriage, which is the procreation of children, not personal gratification.

A book that I believe to be more appropriate is "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. In diligently searching through it, I have not found anything that is contrary to our Catholic Faith and moral code.

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Traditional Wife
3/7/2011 14:09:10

Dawn,

Thank you, kind soul, for your words of encouragement. You are like wise a blessing to my life and I praise God for you. I am glad that we are friends not only through this blog, but now also in everyday life. :-)

All of my love,

Traditional Wife

Reply
Traditional Wife
3/7/2011 14:12:09

Dear Catholic Mother,

Thank you very much for your comments and private prayer request! I always appreciate it when readers chime in and interact with the blog. Thank you for sharing with me your experiences and where you are coming from!

Thank you especially for warning me about the recommended book. I had not realised it contained the material you mentioned and, of course, I wish to promote truth. Your alternative text suggestion sounds very interesting; I will certainly look into it. Another beautiful work is "The Eternal Woman" by Gertrud von le Fort. I am slowly working through it at this present time and it is a blessing for those of us who wish to be authentic, virtuous, and holy Catholic women.

I look forward to getting to know you better in the future!

God bless,

Traditional Wife

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